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  • Experienced Family Law Attorney in Columbia
    Paul A. Meding, P.A., Attorney at Law has served the Columbia, S.C. area for over 30 years, focused solely on family court cases.
  • Helping Families Adopt a Child
    Our law office can help your family understand South Carolina laws to meet the criteria to adopt children.
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The Emotional Side Of The Pre-Adoption Process

More than 100,000 children are adopted in the U.S. every year. This includes children adopted through agencies and foster care. It also include international adoptions.

If you're thinking about welcoming a child into your family, understanding how to prepare for adoption is a major step in the process. Along with the paperwork, requirements, home visits and all of the other red tape that comes along with adoption, making sure that you're mentally and emotionally prepared is absolutely essential.

The Anxiety
There are plenty of reasons for feeling anxious during the adoption process. Don't stress; it's completely normal to feel uncertain, worried or even doubtful. You've been busy having meetings, filling out papers and going through all of the pre-adoption rigor. So busy that you barely had time to worry.

But as the adoption becomes more and more real you may start to feel anxiety creep in.
If you're a first-time parent you may worry that you won't be any "good" at this whole mom or dad thing. If you're adding to your family you may wonder the same thing or question how you'll handle having another child. You might stress about bonding or even worry if the adoption will actually go through.

Other sources of pre-adoption anxiety come from the child's reaction to you. Will the child love you? Will they bond with you? Will they think of you as their parent?

Look for the Pros
Yes, adoption is stressful. But, you need to focus on the main goal – to bring a child into your family. This may be an anxiety-producing time, but it's also a happy time too. When the adoption finally happens you'll be a parent and have the chance to raise a child who needs someone to love them.

For every challenge that you face, pick a positive to think about. For example, you're stressing about the paperwork end of the adoption. It's frustrating and you feel like you're stuck in an endless loop of having to prove that you're fit to take care of a child.

For every paper you have to fill out, think about a magical moment that you'll experience with your soon-to-be child. This might be the first time your child smiles at you, a first word or the first family vacation you take together.

Stay Busy
No, this doesn't mean that you need to add on extra paperwork or extend the adoption process in some way. During those brief downtimes your mind may start to wander. You're worrying if the adoption will ever happen or what it will be like to have the child at your home. Switch up your thought process and take your mind off of the adoption.

There's no need to focus on this process 24-7. Keep yourself busy with activities that interest or fulfill you. Visit with friends and family, go to a movie, join a gym, take a class, read a few books (pick ones that have nothing to do with adoption or parenting) or go for a jog.

Journal It
It's not always easy to express your feelings. Talking to a friend, family member, spouse or even a therapist can help immensely. But, that's not the only way to deal with your emotions. If you're anxious, write about it.

You don't need a master's in creative writing or journalism just to write about your own adoption process. Start a journal, writing whenever and whatever you want. Rant, rave or outline your current emotional state. Getting what you're feeling inside out and onto the page will help to ease some of your stress and let you get a better grip on what's going on in your head and in your heart.

Do you need help with the legal aspects of adoption? Call Paul A. Meding.